where the cornflakes are

this blog may appear to be experiencing an on-going existential crisis - it isn't quite sure whether it's about knitting, crip stuff or life in general

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The plot thickens....

It would seem the tale of Miss Wheelchair America is slightly more sordid than I first thought! Aparently it's not really about Ms Lee's ability to stand and walk short distances at all, but more of a personal cat-fight between Lee and the 2004 Miss Wheelchair Wisconsin, Gina Hackel. This year, Hackel was Chair of the Board of Directors.
Ragged Edge reports that "Lee says her crown was taken away after she confronted Hackel over a series of anti-discrimination lawsuits Hackel had filed against 26 local businesses for allegedly violating the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act. Hackel said she filed the suits when she got no relief from those businesses over her concerns that they were not accessible to patrons with disabilities. Lee said Hackel's lawsuits were making it difficult for her students to raise money from those businesses for her to travel to the national competition in July. She also said the suits also made it more difficult for her to be an effective advocate for people with disabilities in her role as Ms. Wheelchair."
Ya know what? I stand by my earlier observation that her advocacy skills might be slightly affected by the fact that she was crowned in a competition that values the collection of pez dispensers.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Ten responses to "how did you get like that?"

After telling my good freinds Nichola and Jacqueline the other night about my latest response to this question, I thought I'd post the fabulous top ten that Ouch!, the most fab disability website in the world came up with.

"I angered a magician."

"I could be able-bodied, but I'm just way too lazy."

"My father is also my brother."

"I was born and raised in a laboratory by an evil genetic scientist."

"This is what happens if you spend too much time on your Playstation."

"I was trying to get a kitten down from a tree."

"Sir, you insult me - but thank you for paying attention to me, it means so much."

"Actually there is nothing wrong with me, I'm one of a new emerging species."

"I was a contestant on Cheggers Plays Pop and bounced too high on the inflatable."

"I was Glenn Hoddle in a former life." *

* Now, for those of you who aren't up with the world of soccer, Glen Hoddle was a former captain of the English Football team, who was sacked from his position five years ago for coming out with the cracker line:

“You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains … some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. What you sow, you have to reap.”

Oh, so that’s it - Karma! And all this time I thought it was something to do with not eating my greens. Boy, I’m glad Glen set the record straight with that pearl of wisdom!

By the way, my latest response was: "No actually it's a really recent thing. Unfortunate laundry accident. I ended up in the dryer, went through a full cycle and just came out like this. I used to be 6 foot 2. Really."

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Some stuff I've knitted this year!

Well, I finally worked out how this image thing works so I thought I'd give it a burl!

This is the wavy scarf from knitty that I made for my friend Aleisha. It was her birthday last Saturday and she loved it. In fact, she wore it out the very night I gave it to her.
Aleisha wavy scarf

This is the bobble bag I made for my friend Sarah's birthday.
Sarah's bobble bag

While I was procrastinating about seaming the bag (I HATE SEAMING!) I knitted this for my sister Madi. She's looking slightly grumpy because she was on her way to school.
Madi's scarf

I also made these egg cosies from Weekend Knitting and sewed them onto key-rings. The photo is a little blurry but you get the idea.
Egg cosy key-rings

And... my beautiful friend Cas who now lives in the UK and desperately needed some mittens. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the cute hat.
Cas mittens

So there!

Scandal hits Miss Wheelchair America!

In fact, it hit her so hard she leapt out of her chair and was temporarily cured of her ailments. Miss Wheelchair Wisconsin was stripped of her crown earlier this month after photos of her standing up were leaked to the press. Ms Janeal Lee, who is able to stand and walk short distances, was “asked to step down” (I thought her “stepping” was the problem, actually!) as she did not meet the eligibility criteria and therefore would not be able to compete for the national title of Miss Wheelchair America.

According to their website http://www.mswheelchairamerica.org/ the eligibility criteria clearly states that contestants must “utilise a wheelchair for daily mobility” but provides no further clarification. If I were Ms Lee, I think I’d consider it rather a lucky escape from a competition who crowned Juliette Rizzo as Miss Wheelchair America 2005. “In her private life, Juliette is an avid collector of Pez dispensers, which she uses to decorate her holiday tree!”

Unfortunately, I don’t make this stuff up!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Fiction

I almost called this blog Fiction, and this is why. My new favourite song from the brilliant new Lucksmiths album 'Warmer Corners' is the story of what I think is the best tattoo in the world, written by one of the best writers in the world, Marty Donald.

Written down here, gentle reader
It seems too good to be true
But there's a girl in Kansas City
With my favourite tattoo
Oh why would I lie to you?

This was in another century
Somewhere near the summer's end
The fahrenheit was frightening
I was awake the whole weekend
Invited to a barbecue
I found refuge in the kitchen
Discussing post-war US literature
With a girl whose upper arm read "fiction"
Like it might have been typewritten

I asked her its significance
She said she sometimes took reminding
What she wanted to be doing
Weather reading it or writing
I admitted admiration
For both typeface and intent
And said more softly - sotto voce -
I knew too well what she meant
She just smiled
And in a while she went

For a time I forgot this ever took place
She left her bottle on the bookcase

So though I leave you little option
But to take me at my word
I assure you, dearest listener
That it happened as you've heard
A beer left on a bookshelf
At a bygone barbecue
By a girl from Kansas City
With my favourite tattoo
Oh why would I lie to you?
Oh why would I lie to you?
Oh why would I lie?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Federal budget rant (sorry, I HAVE to!)

So. The federal budget. What can I say? They're doing it all arse-about really. People with disabilities aren't going to work because you cut their pensions. They're going to work because you give them equal access to employment. Because you present them with accessible buildings and tolerance. Because employers are educated, aware and embrace workplace diversity. Because they can get on a frigging tram to get to an interview in the first place! Even those people who are supposedly objecting to the cuts are saying that we need training programs to give people with a disability the skills they need to be employed. No we don’t. I spent four years and thousands of dollars at uni getting “the skills” and yet I still spent six months unemployed. Although I’m now working full-time at a job I love, it’s not in the area I’m trained in. It’s in the disability sector, the only place I could find what I need in an employer; a building with no steps and an accessible toilet. And having less money isn’t going to make people more willing to work, it will just increase the isolation and the inability to participate in education and therefore, employment. Sheltered workshops here we come!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

A good name?

Hmmm... I only created this blog on the spur of the moment today and I'm a bit undecided about the name. It's from a song lyric that says "Home is where the cornflakes are". So I figured it was a good name for a homepage. Hmmm... shall have to ponder it further.